Paperwork...Done!

     It has been a long time since I have given an update about where we are in our journey.  We have finally completed our homestudy! It took us over four months, but it is finally complete.  The homestudy consisted of two visits to our house and one e-mailed list of questions by a very sweet lady from Florida Baptist Children's Home.  We were asked about our jobs, our relationship with each other and our families, our faith, our childhood, our parenting plans, our expectations, our finances, etc.  I had to learn CPR and first aid, we had to get fingerprinted, criminal background reports notarized, and we all had to provide a report of health from our doctors (including the dog and cat). As of two weeks ago, our homestudy was finally signed and the $1, 500 homestudy fee was paid.  This marked the end of the paperwork phase and the beginning of the matching phase (the part where we wait to be matched with a birthmother or a child).  As I sat on the couch, across from the social worker, and listened to her telling me about the six birthmothers (only two of which meet our specifications) that they are currently working with, my heart sank a little.  At that point, we had only raised a little under $3,000 (and we are so grateful to all of you who have helped us get to this point).  I let her know that, while we would be happy to be matched with a child anywhere from newborn to three years old, I just couldn't see how we would be able to raise the $15,000 needed to adopt an infant.  She looked confused and asked who had told us $15,000?  I explained that it was the price stated on the FBCH paperwork (and a price we had mentioned to several FBCH workers since then).  In that moment, she gave me the best news that I have had since beginning this process.  If we are matched with a birthmother, we will only be charged 10% of our income based on our last tax return.  The max that any family would pay would be $15,000.  Last years tax return reflects my internship, in which I worked for free for five months.  Therefore, if we are matched with a birthmother, our cost will only be $5,200 (and that includes the homestudy fee)!  With almost $3,000 raised, that seemed a lot more achievable.  If we are matched with a child that is currently in the state's custody, we owe nothing further.  All this time, I have been praying that God would somehow find a way to bring us $15,000.  I had no idea how He would do it, but I believed He would provide a way for us to complete the journey that He had called us to.  While my God is perfectly capable of making $15,000 drop into our laps, He loves us too much to meet our needs in such an impersonal way.  Instead, He reminded us that our ways are not His ways, and that He is not bound by the solutions that we can see with our human eyes.  Through hard work (and a lot more time and frustration) $15,000 could probably be raised, and there would be some who wouldn't see God's hand through our human efforts.  But, because it is our deepest desire that God receive all the glory through our journey, He met our need by doing what we had no way of doing ourselves.  He lowered the price of our adoption.
     After doing our taxes this year, and committing the full return to our adoption fund, we had only $365 left to raise to completely pay for our adoption!  So, with leftover stuff from the last two garage sales, we decided to have just one more.  I was not excited about it, to be honest.  While I wanted to raise the remaining funds, I didn't want to deal with one more self-centered, penny-hoarding, garage-saler.  Seeing how self-absorbed people can be everyday at my job and on the news really discourages me about the human race.  I didn't see how I could intentionally place myself in a position to experience more of it and emotionally survive it.  On top of that, with each garage sale we have received more stuff to sell (which we were very thankful for) but less helping hands.  I am very grateful to those who came out to help on Saturday.  Without you, I literally would not have been able to pull it off.  So, what was the end result?  We raised $400!  That means our adoption is paid for!  And as much as I hate garage sales, and have no intention of doing another one anytime in the near future, I am grateful for the small ways that God showed up in the midst of my discouragement.  At each garage sale I met individuals who had adopted, were adopted, knew someone who was adopted/adopting, and even one lady who brought her foster child garage-saling with her.  Several people wanted to hug me, tell me their stories, offer encouragement, and a couple of people were so touched by our dedication to adoption that they teared up.  And since God knew that I was less enthused about this garage sale than I was about the previous ones combined, He started my day with an encouraging sense of humor.  At the start of the garage sale, an ugly white bird flew into our yard and walked right up to the tables. I though it was odd for such a large ugly bird to be so close to us when he had several unoccupied yards to choose from.  Then, someone informed me that it was a stork.  Seriously?  I laughed out loud.  What an appropriate way to kick off our adoption garage sale.  For some people, a white dove makes them think of God's hand in the midst of struggle and it gives them a sense of peace.  God sent me a big, ugly, white stork - and it's exactly what I needed.
     Last time I blogged, Ryan and I were struggling to find time together and we were feeling financially strapped.  Since then, we have gone on a couple of dates, a vacation to Tennessee (thanks Aunt Penny and Uncle Chris), paid off one student loan, and I splurged on my first pedicure.  We are even going to our first marriage conference next weekend with the couple we started our adoption process with. The light at the end of the tunnel is looking a little brighter these days.
     Thank you God for showing me that some people still have a heart, and that You will bring encouragement when it is least expected and most needed.  Thank you for bring just the right people into my life at just the right time, and for the new friendships that have come out of that.  Thank you most of all for teaching me through this journey that You are the one that I can depend on for anything, no matter what the situation looks like though my human eyes.  I have nothing to fear, and nothing is impossible with You.  Thank you in advance for your grace that will continue to carry me when I forget these lessons out of my human ignorance, and for Your incredible love that will teach me the same lesson multiple times.  I hope and pray that the lessons I learn through this journey will not be forgotten and that they are used to point others to You.  And here is something that I never thought I'd thank you for.  Thank you for not allowing me to begin a family the way that I thought I always would - for not allowing me to become pregnant when I wanted it most.  I couldn't see what you had in store for Ryan and I then, and couldn't see how it could be any better that giving me what I wanted.  You will give us a child and fulfill our hearts' desire, but You have given us a journey that has brought us closer to Your heart than we ever would have been if You had done things our way.  We have a story that starts and ends with You, one that gives You the glory, and one that hopefully points others to You.  That is greater than any story we could have written ourselves.  Thank You for letting us be a part of it.