It's a Date!

     We finally have a date to begin our homestudy!  For those of you wondering what that is, scroll down to the Adoption 101 post for an explanation of these adoption terms.  This will be the first of three meetings.  Monday, October 17th, at 3pm, marks the beginning of our last step before we can just wait on being matched with a child. 
     I have to be honest and say that I am looking forward to the end of this journey.  First, because I just want to have our child in our home and in our arms for good.  Second, because I can't wait for life to settle down a little bit.  As some of you read this, I'm sure you laughed and thought, "wait until that baby gets here".  But, that is a different kind of crazy.  That is the kind of crazy that I have been looking forward to for a long time. I am tired of fundraising, marketing, begging, explaining, and being on a constant roller coaster that can go from frustration to amazing joy and then to disappointment in one swoop.  I feel like an expectant mother with no due date to look forward to.  And though Ryan and I feel all of the emotions of parents who are expecting their first child, we don't always get the response from others that a physically expectant parent would get.  I want to experience normal family life with all of it's normal craziness.  But, since we are still so far from our goal, I am spending every free moment thinking of ways to raise money and trying to organize/carry out those events.  I am sleep deprived and I sometimes feel like I am unsuccessfully juggling too many balls.  I can't seem to come up with enough successful fundraisers, market and manage them effectively, support my husband in his school endeavors, make time for church and family, make time for the One who gives me each day, keep my house organized and clean, and be Christ-like each day in a job that provides me with daily abuse but pays the bills.  For fear of sounding negative, and like a complainer, I just bury it all, hoping that it will let up.  But it doesn't.  I knew this year would be tough as we would have to strap ourselves down with a rewarding end in mind.  It sounded good in theory, but the reality is becoming more than I can carry on most days.  We have not taken a single vacation or celebrated any quality time together, including our anniversary.  Most couples take time before their baby comes to enjoy their time together before life changes forever.  With everything that this process demands, I don't see any such time for us in the near future.  I often wonder if I will be too tired and frustrated to enjoy what we have waited for when it finally arrives.  Even as you read through this post, you may get the feeling that you are on an emotional roller coaster.  Welcome to the journey.  This is the real deal - no holding back.  In one breath, there are things to celebrate.  In the next, I have to be honest about my weakness.  I'm am in that place where I feel like I have climbed three fourths of the mountain and can't manage another step.  There are many times I feel like quitting, but then I look at how far we've come.  So, I push forward, becoming increasingly angry at the mountain for tormenting me so.  As I told a friend the other night, I believe that there is value in the journey. It's a journey that we are meant to be on, and it is one in which God has taught me a lot about Himself and His desire to be personally involved in every aspect of our lives. While I sometimes envy the ease to which many people add to their family, I have to admit that I wouldn't trade this journey.  My child will have an amazing story about God's faithfulness before he/she is ever born.  I am so very thankful how my faith has been stretched, and how my relationship with both God and my husband has taken on new depth that, without this trying journey, wouldn't have been possible.  However, I am ready to be done now.  I know that this is when it matters the most, so I am crawling up the mountain, hoping that relief will find it's way to me somehow.    
     With that being said, we are having what I hope will be our last adoption garage sale this Saturday.  I am praying that God will amaze us a second time!  And, I have started a second job.  This was actually an answer to prayer.  I knew that more money needed to be coming in on a regular basis, but couldn't think of a part time job that would bring in enough money to be worth the aggravation.  Then, I got a call from my Tastefully Simple lady, who offered to do a fundraiser for our adoption.  As we talked, she said, "Why don't you sell it (yummy food that is super simple - ask me about how to get it free) and put all of the profits toward your adoption?".  Duh.  I had been interested in it at one time, but had forgotten about it when running through my list of part time job ideas.  She felt like the timing of her call was nothing short of God answering prayer. I agree.  She even shared our story with another lady in the company, who wanted to know "how it ends".  So, even in the midst of all our craziness, I am continuing to pray that our journey points others to Christ.  However "it ends", it will be with God getting all the glory.

iPad/Wii Drawing

     Thank you so much to all of you who participated in our iPad/Wii Raffle!  Congratulations to Dina M., winner of the Wii, and to Kacie N., winner of the iPad!  Overall, we raised $970. I will post the videos shortly so that you can watch the video of each drawing.
     I was hoping that I could tell you that we have a date to start our homestudy by this point, but apparently we are playing the waiting game again - my favorite.  Our homestudy was supposed to start in September, but here we are in October.  If ever there was a lesson in how I could depend on other people to get things done, this adoption process wouldn't be it.  As soon as we hear anything about a date, I will post something to let you know. 
     The room that we are standing in during the drawing is our future child's room.  It is all pink right now, but it will not be staying that way for long.  Once we begin our homestudy, I will be going to town painting that bedroom in green and yellow to match the Winnie the Pooh theme that we have had picked out for the last five years.  I will post pictures when it is finished.  I can't wait to wake up to a baby in a crib, surrounded by Winnie the Pooh!  I love the way that the morning sun pours into that room, and every time I walk by it I can just picture starting my day in that room with our precious little gift from God. 

     Thanks again to everyone who participated in the raffle and brought us a little bit closer to bringing our baby home.  Congratulations to the winners!